So ready for my wedding to be here, excited, nervous, anxious but ready. Just went shopping for an outfit for our enegagment photos next month. But still don't know how I want to do my hair. We will see..... Well back to work.
Today is my first day back to work after spring break, it was so wonderful to have a whole week off. But on the other hand, it has been super hard on me. I’m trying to hard to let go the fact that I get so angry and upset at people who have and keep having children likes it’s no big deal. While I’m over here struggling and have been for 5 years in order to have a baby. Michael and I have been though so much these years and I don’t know why, but I just can’t get over it. I feel like taking to friends and family had not been helping. I sit and think to myself so much and I just want to scream or cry or both when I think about why has it been so hard for us! I already have to accept the fact that I will never be able to carry a pregnacy. That is hard enough to accept, let along think when is the time going to be our time? I take a deep breath and I feel like I can’t fully take on, my chest is stuck with emotions and in pain. I want this feeling to go away. Tears just fall without it...
Well where to start.... Michael is not going to stay in Tennessee, I quit my job, wedding shower is getting closer, invites are out and getting rsvp's now, interviews here and there for another job, and yesterday I went to the pickle parade with Tina! So yeah a lot has been going on. Michael and I got supper stressed and could not handle being so far away from home and not knowing when we would be back home. so we up and left tennessee and came back to Dallas. So he will only be working in Dallas. It was to much to handle and it took us over the edge but very happy to be back home with out friends and pups! I quit Deford's Thursday, that was a crazy move to do before having another job, but I had to. It was getting to the point where I hated going to work and I don't think work should be like that. I did not enjoy it so it was not worth 600 bucks every 2 weeks? Now I'm interviewing everyday trying to find something that pays more and I will enjoy. Wedding shower! ...
Wow it’s been 5 years and we are still trying for a baby! Well in the past 5 years we have been on a roller coaster of emotions! We went from thinking we were going to have a baby 3 months later to having friends/family offer to be our surrogate and last foster care and having a baby for a month but not being able to keep him. Ups and down is the name of the game... and here we are at it again. The main purpose for this blog is for me to look back in a few years and see how much life has changed! I can see now that it really dose but at the same time it stays right where it should be. On one hand I’m always trying to lose weight (for no reason) and always trying to new diet/life style. Michael has been by my side in everything and I could not be more then thankful for him to have suck with me through everything. I’m a super emotional person and he knows better then anymore how to deal with me. I love him so much! So back to today’s world, baby talk! Let’s start fro...
WHOOT WHOOT!
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