Hard Day

Today is my first day back to work after spring break, it was so wonderful to have a whole week off. But on the other hand, it has been super hard on me. I’m trying to hard to let go the fact that I get so angry and upset at people who have and keep having children likes it’s no big deal. While I’m over here struggling and have been for 5 years in order to have a baby. Michael and I have been though so much these years and I don’t know why, but I just can’t get over it. I feel like taking to friends and family had not been helping. I sit and think to myself so much and I just want to scream or cry or both when I think about why has it been so hard for us! I already have to accept the fact that I will never be able to carry a pregnacy. That is hard enough to accept, let along think when is the time going to be our time? 

I take a deep breath and I feel like I can’t fully take on, my chest is stuck with emotions and in pain. I want this feeling to go away. Tears just fall without it even wanting them to. I need to let this go! I need to accept it. I don’t want to think about it or talk about it anymore! 

I’m ready to accept this, I don’t know how but I need my migraines to go away and be able to allow god to do what he needs to do. 

All I want is to be a mom. 

The 17th of March we tried again, so please God let this be our time! Let this baby be ours and have everything workout like it needs to.