So ready for my wedding to be here, excited, nervous, anxious but ready. Just went shopping for an outfit for our enegagment photos next month. But still don't know how I want to do my hair. We will see..... Well back to work.
Well today our surrogate did the insemination, we will know by March 6th if she is pregnant. It’s going to be a long few weeks. I know that things can go wrong anytime but I’m trying to think positive. Michael is more realistic and all he keeps saying is she could have a miscarriage but I don’t want to think that. Reality I do need to think that and get prepared if that does end up happening. Everything has happened so fast and I just have really high hopes it will all work out. I will check in around March 6th or maybe before when we go to Disneyland with Michael’s siblings. Keeping my thoughts positive and really hoping she becomes pregnate by that time!
Today is my first day back to work after spring break, it was so wonderful to have a whole week off. But on the other hand, it has been super hard on me. I’m trying to hard to let go the fact that I get so angry and upset at people who have and keep having children likes it’s no big deal. While I’m over here struggling and have been for 5 years in order to have a baby. Michael and I have been though so much these years and I don’t know why, but I just can’t get over it. I feel like taking to friends and family had not been helping. I sit and think to myself so much and I just want to scream or cry or both when I think about why has it been so hard for us! I already have to accept the fact that I will never be able to carry a pregnacy. That is hard enough to accept, let along think when is the time going to be our time? I take a deep breath and I feel like I can’t fully take on, my chest is stuck with emotions and in pain. I want this feeling to go away. Tears just fall without it...
So last night was my bachelorette party!!! My sister, mom, grandma, aunt Nidia, and 4 of my friends went to eat a BJs in addison. Then right after we went to Pete's Piano Bar!!! Witch was so much fun!!! I drank 2 margaritas and 2 shots and I was not tipsy at all :( I was kinda upset bc I wanted to get a little tipsy but did not work. Im sure the drinks were watered down. :( Other then that we all had a blast!!! I got cute panties and outfits! So I'm very thankful and excited about that. Only 6 more daaaaaaaays I'm so ready!! I'm ready to see my family and make this official. Michael is amazing and I have been extremely blessed to have found him. Can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him .
WHOOT WHOOT!
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